It was just the brush of your hair
lightly against my cheek
as I dared to get close enough
to whisper in your ear

I was just the walk to the car
alone just you and me
a moment of quiet appreciation
of the time we got to share

Tits and ice cream
all on yummy display
tasty mounds of fat
in various sized cones

Maybe then
you would find me attractive
Maybe then
you would stay for a while
Maybe then
you would look at me like you do at him
Maybe then
I wouldn't be so alone

If only I was better
maybe I could fool myself

Yes,... I noticed you
You were pretty enticing,..
more sophisticated
than the place
where we found ourselves

You must have noticed
I was talking
to the unattractive
musician
getting ready
to start her gig

Maybe you didn't notice
that we talked
like the old friends
that we are

Maybe you missed
the fact that
the only reason I was here
was to say hello
to her.

Yes,..
I did see
the finger moving
across your throat
with your back turned
toward the musician
when I suggested
that she should play

No,..
I wasn't expecting
to  enjoy the music
I just came to say hello
to someone I valued

An act which
I could never imagine
repeating for you

just why is it so hard
to get the chance to be
part of something great

why are the good ones
so f*cking hard
to get along with

why should it be do hard
to find one
that wants to be as good as you
but doesn't need to be
so far out front

maybe I'm just not that good.

Another night in the spot light
another night alone
there isn't anything
but the music
and the politics
of the next song

once it gets back started
and everyone settles in
my eyes are working
but i notice nothing
if it isn't coming
through my ears

I birthday gathering for you
it's a shame they brought in people
to do the part that you enjoy the most

another trip
through the land
of no affection
no furtive glances
of hopeful anticipation
just the lingering malaise
of loss

no expectation
of miraculous healing

you don't even like yourself

I'm not sure I can do this any more
it's become so much of a strain
I can't imagine what you thought
I was gonna turn into
I can't image why you thought
i would give up everything i was
in exchange for whatever
you think I should be

How many times will you say
i should have known
before you actually
realize
you should have known

it's not really worship
the look in your eyes
more than innocence
less than design
you don't seem
to understand
what it does
to me